Legendary Freedom Fighter Found Special AKA Song Forced, Trite, Stale
(Johannesburg, South Africa)
On the 100th anniversary of Nelson Mandela’s birth, his final words on that fateful December day five years ago can now be revealed.
Calling his nearest and dearest close for what his family assumed would final pronouncements of love, truth and honesty, former South African president Nelson Mandela instead whispered a shock deathbed confession: “I don’t like The Special AKA’s Nelson Mandela single and I never have.”
“Obviously, I approved of the sentiment,” he sighed, managing the merest trace of a smile. “But I always found the lyrics trite and the ‘party’ air a bit forced. It sounded stale and more than a bit rubbish. UB40 did it so much better.”
“That tendency towards polemicism. It’s a problem with a lot of Jerry Dammers’ music, but especially with The Specials after the good looking one, Terry Hall, left,” continued the anti-apartheid revolutionary. “At least Terry had teeth. Please don’t let them over-play it on the radio when I’m gone.”
With his dying breath the first black President of a united South Africa allowed that, “By the way, Ghost Town was brilliant. I bet Thatcher hated that one,” before closing his eyes for the last time.
We shall never see his like again.
Additional reporting by Farmer Glitch and Prince Asbo